Valentine's Day: Battle Royal!
by OxyFoxtheBarbarian
Summary: It's the day of pink fluff and hearts. Valentine's Day! The two shinobi, Naruto and Lee,are competition for the heart of the sweet cherry blossom. But, who will be her Valentine? Will either of them win her? Am I crazy? Who knows?


The makers of Naruto, and the name of the person who invented it, which I forgot, copyright this anime series.

**Valentine's Day: Battle Royal!**

As we gaze down upon the earth, our attention is caught by a small clutter of homes in a safe haven of forest. This little village is formally known as Kohona, Hidden Village in the Leaves. With the bright sun illuminating the day, and the happy step of the villagers, you could have guessed it was just a regular day in the world. However, this was no ordinary day. Our story begins on a special day of the year, in which the hearts of lovers are ignited in the spirit of mirth. Yes, today is the day of Valentine's Day. Now you probably know Valentine's Day as the day to give friends, family and possibly a crush, chocolates and a crappy Hallmark card. This Valentine's Day is a story of love, competition, homosexuality and randomness. We start in the morning, bright and early. The sun filled the air with warmth, little birds hopped along the ground in search for food and the rush for small Valentine trinkets was high. The town was alive in a quiet sort of way. There was little noise: no vendors screamed or little children hooting with laughter, there was a lot of movement though, everyone either ran, spazzed out or acted on the fast walk. Now where is our introductory character?

Sakura's torso rose from her bed in a Frankenstein-like fashion. She rubbed the crust from the corners of her emerald eyes and pulled her self from the comfort of her pink sheets. Sakura sluggishly dragged herself into her conjoining bathroom.

This is one of our most important characters in this story. Haruno Sakura. Now an ANBU at eighteen and top medic-nin, second to only the Hokage herself...

"SAKURA! HURRY AND GET READY!"

...not to mention she still lives with her parents.

"I'm coming mom," she gargled before spitting out her mouthwash. Sakura decided to start her day with a clean shower and nice attire. Why, you ask? Well, it's not like a girl of Sakura's age to forget this special occasion. She had picked an outfit much like her original one, only slightly different. The overcoat was black edged with red. She kept her under shorts. Her hair was in a stylish bun held by two long gold hairpieces, one with a dangling blossom ornament. Her regular sandals were black. Sakura was an image of temptation. Her brooding had twirled down the shower drain. She felt ready and full of life, like the Energizer Bunny. Sakura advanced downstairs into the kitchen where her mother had breakfast set on the table. Her father was hidden behind the paper, chewing on his pipe, though the top of his baldhead clearly shined under the ceiling lamp.

"Good morning, Sakura-goreijou," her mother smiled at her young daughter. Over the years, she had watched the changes in her child. She had bloomed from a small, sweet, innocent girl, to a beautiful, young tease that any man would be honored-no-**privileged** to court. But, Sakura's mother sleep soundly at night knowing her _single_ daughter wasn't out with some mutt fooling around.

"Good morning, mom," she hugged her mother and snagged a piece of toast.

"I have to leave for work now, bye!" She kissed her father on the cheek and scampered towards the door, munching buttered bread.

"Don't work your self too hard, honey!" Mrs. Haruno yelled at her daughter's back before the door was slammed. She sighed as she washed the dishes in the sink.

"They grow up so fast." Her husband grunted in agreement.

"You know, Herb," Mrs. Haruno left the bubbly dishes to sit on her husband's knee, her gloved hands folded neatly in her lap.

"I've been thinking..."

_Oh no, she's been thinking. That's not a good sign. _Mr. Haruno's eye twitched.

"Let's have three more kids," Herb sucked in a little too much smoke from his pipe and immediately started coughing.

Hmmm...let's move on.

….

"YES!"

The green beast sprung from his mattress, filled with the springtime of youth. (I can't believe I just said that.) He rushed to his bathroom, scrubbing his sparkly teeth.

Rock Lee, jounin of eighteen, lived on his own. Anyone that mentioned his name could not help but also be reminded of his amazing skills in taijutsu...

"Today is the day I win the delicate heart of the village's most beautiful cherry blossom!" he preached to his reflection on the mirror.

...and his major thing for Haruno Sakura. He entered his room and dressed in his famous green execration. The walls of his room were littered with picture of his teammates, some friends and others. However, the center was honored to hold the picture of the object of his total desire and affection.

"You will be mine, Sakura Haruno," he planted a kiss on her forehead and skipped into his kitchen like a giddy schoolgirl. He grabbed a heart shaped box sheltering a work of delicate perfection he created just for his cherry blossom. It was a heart shaped white cake with decorative icing. This was no plain looking amateur cake. The pink icing formed a bloomed cherry blossom in the corner, and the face was written with thin slivers of chocolate forming into a one statement perfect enough to sum his infinity of passionate emotions together. This cake would make any pastry chef burn with envy and jealousy of its culinary greatness. Lee smiled, not opening the box due to his excitement. He would see it when he presented it as an offering to his flower. He wanted to see and forever remember the look of adoration he will receive from his blossom when she gazed upon it. The taijutsu master proudly stepped onto the street, basking in the warm sunlight.

"Today is the day of my greatest triumph!" He punched the air with his free hand. His internal flame fueled with confidence engulfed his soul from the top of his head down to the soles of his shoes. He paraded down the street to the hospital on the other side of town where Sakura-chan worked.

….

"Today's the day!" A boy of excitement shouted, throwing his covers to the ground. He readied himself for the event to go underway on this day of merriment.

This is Uzumaki Naruto, ANBU of eighteen years old and vessel to the Kyuubi. Yes, was once hated by all. But, the town's folk grew fond of him over time. He is known for his explosive energy and stamina.

Naruto was wearing his ANBU uniform, his vest open and a flower in the right chest pocket. He hummed a tune while spiking his blonde top with gel and covering his original body odor of ramen and eggs with Axel body spray.

"Today's the day," the foxy boy motivated himself. He strode to his kitchen, almost tripping on some dirty boxers on his floor. He was happy; his heart was ready to burst from the excess of adrenaline. Picking up a crimson candy box with a baby pink bow set upon it, he step out of the house in self-assurance, lock it, and shoved the keys in his pocked while prancing to the Kohona Medical Union Hospital.

….

"Suki, I ask for your hand in holy matrimony...,"Kakashi froze while reading his book, the special edition **Icha Icha Paradise: Valentine Vandals**. His brows furred with utter anger.

"HOLY CHATTERING CHOCOLATE BUNNIES! HOW CAN JINKO ASK SUKI TO MARRY HIM! IT WILL COMPROMISE THE WHOLE SERIES!" Kakashi threw the book to the ground in total abandon, grabbing a kunai.

"BLASPHEMY!" He pointed accusingly at the book, his gaze affecting it to combust into flames. Some older people passing by whispered amongst themselves and a mother had to cover her small child's eyes. The Copy-Ninja stood in the middle of the street, watching his lost novel of graphic nature wither into ashes.

_Yes, burn you little piece of-_

"Hi, Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi left his little diabolical world and met the gaze of his ex-student, Sakura.

"Good morning, Sakura, you look nice today. Heading to work?"

"Yes, sensei," he bowed at the waist to show respect to her former tutor. Though Kakashi no longer taught the infamous Team Seven, his bond with the team was as strong as ever, if not stronger.

"Sakura, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times, stop calling me 'sensei', I'm not your sensei anymore. It was cute when you guys were younger, but now that you've matured to adults, it makes me feel..."

"Old?"

"Exactly," he smiled at the kunoichi. She rolled he eyes.

"Sensei, you're not old, you just feel like it," she flashed a genuine smile, one that made your heart melt.

"Thank you, Sakura. Oh, Happy Valentine's Day," she gave her a small box. Her delicate hands accepted it, opening the red velvet container. He put her hand to her lips, holding in a gasp. It was a silver necklace with a 'S' encrusted with diamonds.

"Kakashi-sensei..."

"I was just browsing around town after 'accidentally' running into the Icha Icha store when I saw it nearby. It has your name all over it," he smiled from under his mask.

"Thank you so much, sensei!" she hugged the masked man, who gladly returned it. She snapped it one around her neck.

"Thank you again, sensei. I'll see you later!" Sakura waved to the masked man, who returned the gesture. Hatake Kakashi walked to the training grounds to meet up with Gai for training today.

….

The shy Hyuuga stood in front of the Ichiraku Ramen stand, where the smell of seasonings and boiled eggs slithered under her nose.

Two cloaked figures watched her closely.

"Here he comes," Hinata stood up straight, scanning the area. And lo and behold, here came the famous foxy boy of Team Seven. She resisted the pressuring habit of playing with her hands, and concentrated on the gift in her hands. This is it, the moment she would pop the question that finally bubbled to the surface of her doubtful mind and pressing her into the situation she was now currently in. There she stood, in front of the Ichiraku, with a box of special ramen from the Hidden Village in the Stones, ready to ask him to the special fireworks show for couples tonight.

_Well...here it goes…_

Hinata stood her ground, waiting for the fox boy.

….

"I can't wait to see Sakura's face when-" Naruto halted in his place, spying from across the street of the three-way intersection, his one rival for the heart of the delicate flower.

_Lee_, Naruto knitted his brows together, knowing Lee was staring with the same intensity. His lip curled.

….

Lee had thought about the fox boy before his ascension to his blossom, not forgetting the competition too soon. The assumption that Naruto would go seeking for the cherry blossom was right on the dot. He nodded to the fox, who returned the nod. Slowly he took a step forward, the Kyuubi vessel mirroring his movement. To get to the hospital, they would have to turn at the intersection. That would make them on the same street. Walking side by side. Two enemies. One goal. Envy...rage...passion...

**PEANUTS!**

_What have I told you about interrupting me, Inner OxyFoxtheBarbarian?_

**...not to…**

_That's right!!! _

_Sakura-chan, you_ **_will_** _be mine_. A flaming wave of determination rolled on the shores of his mind. His toes curled in his sandals, walking forward at a mindful pace. The enemy followed.

….

Hinata advanced a hesitant step towards the two boys, suspended a foot away from each other. Naruto and Lee. The wind blew slightly, shielding the boys eye's with their bangs. Hinata turned to Naruto, quivering a bit with a peace offering resting in her outstretched hands.

"N-naruto-kun, I-I-" she couldn't finish her sentence. The minute her lips parted, the two ninja males turned on heel and bolted like lightning down the road, pushing against each other in attempt to out race the other. When the boys were out of range, a cloaked figure from the Ichiraku stand slipped off her hood. Kurenai sighed, putting her hand on Hinata's shoulder. Shino stood adjacent to her, exposed from his removed cloak.

"Well, we try again later, Hinata," Kurenai gave her a friendly pat. Hinata's gaze returned to her sensei, answering with a light, defeated nod.

Meanwhile...

….

"Are you SURE there is no work today? No patients, or sick or needy?"

"Not today, Mrs. Haruno. I guess this means you can take the day off today," the attendant to the front desk smiled at the medic nin. Sakura was determined to work today, only to have her hopes blown away with no patients.

**You know, we could 'find' some patients…**

_My job is to_ help _people, not to injure them just because of my lack of work._

**Just saying...**

"Well, thank you anyway," Sakura bowed with a grin and turned on her heel.

"Forehead girl!" An obnoxious blonde marched through the hospital door in search of her pink haired counter part. She grabbed her friend's hand with a grin of a Cheshire cat.

"We're going to the hot springs with the other kunoichis for a day of pampering and relaxation!"

"That sounds great, Ino-pig! But, what about Shikamaru?" Ino and Shikamaru had been going out for approximately seven months. Ino was very happy about having a boyfriend and ending her singleness, though most of their relationship was based on his cloud watching and her non-stop talking.

"Aw, he sad spending today with me was 'troublesome' and went to go watch a cloud," she rolled her eyes while raving on about her lazy lump of a man. Sakura just laughed at her ranting.

….

"Look, Naruto-san, we must stop this fighting and peacefully approach the delicate Sakura, letting her choose who is the better shinobi," the two boys had stopped running, on account of having to repair five broken carts, three signs, two stands and a few fallen elder pedestrians.

"And by 'better shinobi', you mean me, right?" He smiled evilly.

"We clearly know who the better of us is, _Naruto_," Lee's eye twitched.

"Are you challenging me?"

"No, I'm just stating a fact."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes."

"OH, YEAH!?"

"YEAH!"

"I challenge you to-" Naruto adjusted his gift in his left hand, jabbing the right towards Lee,"-thumb wrestle!"

Lee, who would have normally thought of this as a strange challenge, was now slapped with the glove of flaming courage. He grasped Naruto's hand, his eyes on fire.

"One, two, three, GO!"

….

Hyuuga Neji strolled down the path of the main road, looking for a certain teammate.

"YOU CANNOT USE 'RABBIT IN THE HOLE' MORE THAN ONCE! THAT'S CHEATING!"

"IT IS NOT, IT'S CALLED, THE HIDDEN LEAF'S FORBIDDEN MOVE: THE 'SECOND RABBIT-IN-HOLE' JUTSU!"

"CHEATER!"

Neji turned towards the ruckus, seconds later scratching his head. Naruto and his teammate, Rock Lee were some how competing by...holding hands? He shook his head and approached the two imbeciles.

"Naruto, Lee, what is the problem?" He glared at the shinobi.

"HE CHEATED!"

"NO, ITS CALLED THE HIDDEN LEAF'S FORBIDDEN-," Naruto bonked Lee on the head.

"Why are you two fighting?"

The boys lowered their heads, and twiddled their fingers.

"Sakura-chan..." their cheeks were warm with the blood that rushed to their face. Neji rolled his eyes.

"Ok, I'll flip a coin, and whoever wins the pick, gets Sakura-chan," he pulled a quarter from his pocket.

"Heads!"

"Tails!"

Neji flipped the coin in the air and let it fall to the ground. It landed on its edge, and started to roll. Perplexed, the boys followed the quarter, only to have it fall into...

...an open sewer.

"MY QUARTER!"

"Well, that was pointless. And besides, how could a coin prove who deserves Sakura-chan more?"

"True, Naruto," Lee nodded with his thumb and index digits on his jaw line. Neji was desperately trying to regain his beloved quarter, his arms just scrapping the bottom of the open sewer line.

"That was a present from my great-great-great-great...," Neji was tuned out from their conversation.

"Ok, who ever gets there first gets to ask her first."

"Ok! I'll be first, BELIEVE IT!"

The green monster and fox boy flew down the street with the horsepower of...well, a horse.

….

"Ah, a day with no brainless men folk to pester us, and all the pampering a girl could want! RENALDO, FABIO, MORE SAKE ALL AROUND!" The male servants nodded and disappeared behind the door of the entrance to the women's bathhouse. Most of the known kunoichi population was there. Ino, Sakura, Hinata, Kin, Temari, Kurenai, Tenten, Shizune and even Tsunade. Sakura sighed, tracing the rim of her sake cup with her index finger. Not even the soothing heat of the women's bathhouse could unsettle her brewing storm of troubles. Tonight was the event of the Annual Kohona Couples Fireworks Show, and she had no date. Her mom told her about it from when she was dating her dad. There were magnificent colors, arrangements and displays of sparkles in the sky performed by expert ninja specializing in fire jutsus. Ever since she was little, she dreamed of going to the Couples Show with Sasuke-kun.

sigh...Sasuke-kun...

She had long ago given up on him after a few years for his absence. However, when he returned two years ago, she felt just a little discarded piece of attachment float into her heart. It was so hard to give up on a guy like him. He was addicting eye candy. With a sculpted face like an angel, a body of a chiseled god and an attitude of an ice king, who wouldn't fall in love with a walking aphrodisiac? Every girl loves a bad boy. Deep down in their heart they do. Even Sakura.

"Sakura, what's wrong? You look a little...under the weather and down in the dumpity," Tenten placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm just thinking, don't worry about me."

"She's thinking about _him_ again, isn't she?" Ino accused with her outstretched index finger, having had a little too much alcohol.

"Sakura, what have I told you. Stop worrying about him. Stress isn't good for the body," Tsundae guzzled down two more sake bottles, much to the displeasure of Shizune.

"Stop worrying about men, they are a strain on the brain," Temari pointed at her temple.

"I guess..."

"I know! We have to find Sakura a man!" Everyone looked at the drunken Hokage.

"How?"

"MASOCHIST!"

**BONK!**

The Hokage lay on the ground, passed out from alcohol overdose.

"Umm...ok, that plan went down the drain," Tenten sipped her sake.

"How about we turn all of the men into bunnies!"

"..."

"...I thought it was a good idea," Kin twiddled her thumbs.

"No, we must hunt one down, bound him by rope, tie him to a pole and force him into pleading his ETERNAL LOVE TO SAKURA!"

"Ino, that's a little extreme."

"SILENCE, NON-BELIEVER!"

Temari, being the only sensible shinobi and deciding not to argue with a drunken Ino, quietly sipped her drink as to not get in the way of these idiots.

….

"SAKURA-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" The front desk attendant fell out of her chair and hid under the sanctity of her table.

"ATTENDENTATTENDENT! WHERE IS SAKURA-CHANNN?"

_OMG! They've come to get- wait...what?_

The desk attendant peeked over the edge, afraid of getting her nose bitten off. Two panting teenagers with eyes the size of saucers ready to pop out their reddened faces glared down at her.

"Um...there wasn't any work today, so she took the day off at the women's hot springs."

"_**NANI!!!!!!!!!!!!"**_

….

A flock of birds stirred and took flight from a near by tree they were perched on. Kakashi turned for a brief moment, watching them fan out.

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Nothing," The copy ninja continued to block the kicks and roundhouses of the green clad jounin.

"You know, Kakashi, today is Valentine's Day," Gai's teeth sparkled with a punch to the forearm.

"Yes, I am fully aware of the date and occasion, why do you mention it?"

"Well, I was wondering if you appreciated your students enough to give them a gift."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, sending a high kick at Gai.

"Yes, I gave Sasuke a new demon shuriken, Sakura a necklace and Naruto a lifetime pass to the Ichiraku for one free bowl a day."

"Ah, yes, very good," Gai nodded approvingly.

"Then why did you bring it up."

"I had a question about it. You see, I had give Neji a set of kunai, Tenten some new weapons from Claw Country and Lee a box of cookies."

"So?"

"Well, about the cookies..."

….

Sakura gathered her things and bid the others a due as she departed from the private hot springs. She was now bored with nothing to do with wander like an aimless soul. She let out a loud aggravated yell at an unresponsive sky. Maybe a walk would occupy her time.

….

_Heh heh, perfect. I'm a genius_, the perverted Sannin grinned while walking out of the Aburame shop with a wooden crate. He giggled like a little girl and patted the box.

"These little guys will be the key to my _chef-d'oeuvre_."

But unbeknownst to Jiraiya, he was in the pathway of destruction.

"Sakura-chan!"

**KABOOM**!

The crate flew a death defying twenty feet, before exploding into a pile of fragments upon the ground. The bugs within crawled out with freedom, gladly taking to the skies.

"NO! COME BACK MY WINGED FRIENDS!" He pleaded the swarm of insect escapes riding the airways. The wind blew slightly through his hair.

"Ok, that's it...Jiraiya ANGRY! RAWR!" The Sannin summoned a carrier frog and sat on his back.

"Ride like the wind, Bullseye!" The toad hopped after the green and orange scheme destroyers. He didn't know who had broken his box, but he had a pretty good idea.

….

"...great, great, great, great..."

"Hey, do you need help?"

Neji's head turned a full three hundred and sixty degrees, his fork tongue flickering. The young man screamed like a cream puff scout and ran like a retarded chicken. Neji returned to his heroic rescue of the quarter.

"Where was I? Oh yeah, great, great, great, great..."

….

"Why on Kami's green EARTH would you do that!?" Kakashi gave Gai a hard pimp slap.

"Well, call it 'Teacher's Jealousy'; I couldn't bear the thought of him not thinking of his sensei on Valentine's Day!"

Kakashi sighed.

"So let me get this straight..."

….

"We haven't see him all day, but we'll keep looking," Kurenai pat Hinata on the shoulder as the left the private hot spring.

"Welcome to Leisure for Ladies, the private hot spring and hotel for women, how may I help you?"

"IS THERE A GIRL HERE WITH PINK HAIR?"

"Uh, not exactly but-," Kurenai and Hinata watched Naruto and Lee bombard right through the wall connecting the women's bath and front desk room. Everyone had sweat bullets.

"Hey, Hinata, maybe this is your chance." Kurenai nudged her.

….

"Sakura-chan!"

"My sweet cherry blossom!"

After failing to find her in the hot spring, they decided to go though every hotel room at the Leisure for Ladies.

"Ok, Lee," Naruto panted, patting the wood of a door," this is the last one."

"Right! She must be in here!" 

Naruto wrenched the door open.

"Sakura-chan!"

Both boys were met with a sight of sheer terror.

"Oh."

"My."

"Gaud," both of them finished.

Sasuke Uchiha was shirtless under covers of a womens' hotel bed, reading an edition of _Home & Garden_.

Sasuke Uchiha was now trying to hide his exposure by pulling the covers to his chest.

Sasuke Uchiha...was busted.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"We should be asking _you _that, Sasuke, _if _ that is your real name. Why are you at a _women's_ hotel?" Lee crossed his arms.

"Well, I uh..."

"Sasuke-aman, who's at the door?"

"...K-Kabuto?" Naruto choked out. Orochimaru's medic nin leaned against the bathroom doorframe, smoking a cigarette.

"Bad timing, Kabuto," Sasuke glared at his partner.

"...I KNEW IT! I KNEW SASUKE WAS A DANSHOKU! HAHAHAHA-" Naruto rolled around on the floor, unable to control his laughter. Lee was giggling behind the hand he held against his mouth.

….

"Hmm...," the toad-summoner put his ear to the ground.

"Loud obnoxious kid, that way," he pointed to the right and hopped back on his frog of transportation.

….

Sakura's feet had carried her to the grassy knoll where the fireworks show was to be held tonight. Sitting down with her knees to her chest, she let out a breath did think she was holding in. Maybe she had been looking for an answer to her problem of woe. She felt a bit lonely, all by herself sitting on the grass on a romantic holiday while her friends celebrated.

"Well, I guess that's life," she collapsed on her back to stare at the sky. It was afternoon and the show was in a couple of hours. The temperature had dropped to a refreshing cool, but warm brushes of the playful wind kept it at a nice degree. The sky was wilting into its pre-darkened state, between a line of dull orange to navy. She was by her self, just watching the sunset. But to her, it wasn't so bad to be alone, just watching the sky.

….

"Ok, so, where do you think she could have gone?" Naruto and Rock Lee were walking at a normal pace after losing track of Sakura. The little Sasuke fiasco chewed away a good bit of their time.

"Let's wait at the hill side where the fireworks will be, maybe she'll stop by," Lee suggested. Naruto let out a tired breath.

"Just about now, I'll try anything

So the green monster and crazy fox drug their feet to the grassy clearing to wait for the cherry blossom. (That last sentence sounded like a poorly written ending to a children's storybook). Moving along...

….

"I was walking to Lee's house to give him his gift..."

_Flashback_

_Gai pranced like a fairy princess all down the road to Lee's house._

_"Oh, Leeeeee!" He looked around for his young apprentice._

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Spongebob Squarepants!"

_"Ah, he must be in the shower," Gai concluded. He smiled his sparkly smile, setting Lee's gift on the counter. But what is this..._

_End Flashback_

"I saw a foe for my student's affection on the counter, in which I felt the proper justice must be delivered!"

….

"Oi, Sakura-chan!"

"Cherry blossom!"

The two boys ran to the girl lying in the field.

"Hello, Lee-san, Naruto-kun," she smiled while getting to her feet.

"Hello, most honorable cherry blossom," Lee kissed her hand, making her face heat up. Naruto pulled Lee the side.

"Who will get to give her their gift first?"

"I shall, because she loves me more."

"Hey!"

"Fine...rock, paper, scissors," Lee extended his hand.

"Rock, paper, scissors!"

"Yes!" Naruto pride fully strode to Sakura, leaving Lee in the loser's corner.

"Here, Sakura-chan is my gift..."

….

"The containers looked the same so I said, 'Why not? He won't be able to tell the difference'..."

….

"...Naruto, this is sweet," she looked in side," but I'm not a fan of pickles wrapped in...chocolate."

"Aw, come on, Sakura-chan," he took one and popped it in his mouth.

"UZUMAKI NARUTOOOOOOOO!!!!" Naruto was jerked by his collar and thrown onto the ground in a headlock.

"YOU ARE COMING WITH _ME_," The angered Ero-sannin pulled the orange clad ninja buy the neck.

"But...but, Sakura-chan-"

"No buts! You are going to take responsibility for you actions!" The frog summoner dragged away the Kyuubi vessel against his will. Lee, seeing this as his chance, turned to Sakura with a grin and down on one knee.

"Sakura with this offering, will you..."

….

"You threw away the gift and replaced it with yours?"

The green ninja twiddled his thumbs.

"Well, I like I said, Teacher's Jealousy."

"Did you not think that he was going to give that gift _to_ someone? Did you even read the label on it?"

Gai scratched the sweat bullets on the back of his head.

"No..."

….

"...will you be my cherry blossom?" Lee opened the box, reciting the icing's text by heart.

Silence.

"...Lee?"

"Yes, Sakura-chan!?"

"These cookies...shaped like...Gai," she twitched.

"Yes, I work especially hard on-what!" Lee looked in the contents of his box. These were the mini version of shaped Gai-sensei's face in cookie form. He stuck his finger on the icing.

"The teeth are made of...toothpaste?"

"Grr...LEE!!!!ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME!!!"

"NONONONOWAITSAKURA-"

Too late. Lee received a fist full of Sakura, shooting him straight to the moon. Sakura sighed, sitting back on the ground.

"Those two sure are weird."

….

_So, even if it wasn't the best Valentine's Day for everyone, it turned out alright._

….

"Jeez, I hope you're happy," Naruto handed Jiraiya the box of newly purchased bugs.

"I hope you learned a lesson," he nodded and walked down the road. Naruto sighed, looking at the stars and sky that blanketed the town with darkness, only himself being revealed by a small lamp on the side of the store.

"Naruto-kun...," Hinata approached him, holding her hands together.

"Oh, hey Hinata-chan."

"Um...will you g-go to the f-fireworks w-with me," she praised the shade for covering her red face.

"Uh? Oh, yeah! Sure I would, Hinata!" He put an arm around her shoulders and walked down to the grassy field.

….

"...great, great, great grandmother."

"Hi, Neji. Why are you looking down a sewer?"

"Tenten! I lost my quarter!" Neji looked up at his teammate and had anime waterfalls of tears falling down his face. Tenten reached down into the opening between the sidewalk and road.

"Here," she smiled, handing him his beloved piece of coined metal. He wiped away the tears.

"Th-thank you," he sniffled. He looked at the weapons specialist, noticing how the sunlight hit her smooth skin.

"Um..." he sniffed, whipping his nose," ...you wanna go with me to the fireworks?"

"Sure, Neji-kun," she helped him from the ground, and held his hand on the road to the show.

….

The fireworks fanned out across the sky, the designs amazing. The ninjas performing the show stood at the bottom of the knoll, away from the people at the top of it. Purple, blue, red, pink, white, gold, all these colors and more formed the shapes of hearts, animals, some words and other life like images. Sakura gasped at the sight, looking around her. Today wasn't so bad: she had a day off, a visit to the hot springs and a night with all of her friend on the grass, watching the sky light up.

"This is great ramen, Hinata! You would make a great wife, someday! Uh, Hinata?" Naruto was looking at an unconscious Hinata to Sakura's right. The kunoichi giggled at Naruto's clueless ness. Lee was also unconscious to her left, covered with bruises. She would heal those later. Sure, she was still single, but at least she wasn't alone.

….

_So, the people of Kohona were filled with the joy of Valentine's Day, not to mention our characters. Naruto eventually got around to asking Hinata out. Neji went to the fireworks show with Tenten-_

….

"Wish me luck," Neji kiss the quarter, not to mention it was still dirty from the sewer, and turned to Tenten.

"Hey, Tenten..." he slowly leaned towards her.

"EW, NEJI! WHAT'S THAT GROSS STUFF ON YOU LIPS?" She pushed Neji, making him fall and tumble down until he crashed into a tree at the bottom of the hill.

"Ow...pain," he tried getting up, but seeing that it was not use, gave up and laid there.

….

_-Shikamaru ended up taking care of a drunken Ino and Temari who had cleverly escaped the women's bath in only towels, Sasuke and Kabuto later got married privately in the Hokage's office with small company, and Jiraiya got both of his Valentine's Day wishes-_

….

"Where are you taking me, Jiraiya? It's not one of those crappy, skank clubs, is it?"

"No, just wait a little more," the toad Sannin lead the blindfolded Tsundae up to the top of a plateau overlooking the training ground clearing deep in the woods.

"Ok, now you can look."

Tsundae slipped of the cloth around her eyes and gazed down from the perch of the cliff, bringing her hands to her mouth. Thousands of frogs were on the ground, each holding a lightning bug to their tongue and perfectly aligned to spell out the message 'Will U Go Out With Me?'

"Oh, Jiraiya," he turned and hugged the perverted Sannin.

….

_-a new girlfriend and inspiration for the new Icha Icha Paradise book. So, Sakura and company spent their night watching their feelings pain the sky on the Best Valentine's Day Ever._

The End

End Credits

Song:

_Easy_ by the Commodores

Inspired by:

Naruto: The T.V series

Twelve bottles of Vault

Thanks for reading!


End file.
